Saturday, May 30, 2009

How I Got Over My Fear of Death

When I was in Kuwait before the war, I replayed numerous scenarios of my death. It preoccupied my life. I would think about getting shot, bombed and gassed and it terrified the hell out of me. The worst part was that I imagined a Marine in dress blues showing up at my parents home and delivering the news. It broke my heart.

The time came when they woke us up in the middle of the night and told us to get ready to cross the border into Iraq. It was a couple weeks into the invasion when I finally came to peace about death. This is after I was shot at, bombed and had frequent poison gas scares.

I decided that I could picture and dream up an infinite number of ways I could die, OR I could trust myself to face any situation life threw in my way and do my best to enjoy living. The choice was mine!

I was very worried about my race up until a couple weeks ago. I had lost so much training time as a result of surgeries and injuries. But I had created a Plan B and was sticking to it. It was after a 2 day period that included a 6 hour ride and an 18 mile run (both of which I had doubts about) when I remembered what I decided in Iraq.

I have never quit in life. Why would I start now? I am trusting myself to face what life will throw at me. No hill, no tide and definitely nothing short of serious injury will stop me from crossing that finish line. With this in mind, I am at peace.

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